7nmr:
i hate how sometimes i can’t find the right words to describe what’s going on in my mind.
spotify playlists i made that i love:
- for instantly inducing sadness and depression
- for losing sight of what love means to you
- for feeling present in the current moment
- for deep-rooted loneliness
- for the pure excitement of having a crush
- for sleeping
- for the person who left and would ruin you if they ever came back
- for a love that rages like a fire
- for your pride & prejudice hand flex moment
- for feeling dreamy
- for your radiohead fix
- for crying while still bopping along
- for drinking warm spiced milk on a rainy day
- for feeling like you’re an indie coming of age film
- for the nostalgic emo phase
- for feeling wretched
- for when you’re walking the streets of a new city by yourself
- for daydreaming about moving to new york city with your best friends
- for bangerz only
- for wearing bold lipstick
- for your bollywood fix
- for allowing yourself to change
- for feeling like you’re floating on your back in a swimming pool at night in an indie movie
- for your gracie abrams fix
- for when you don’t recognize yourself
- for my desi diaspora kids
- for my desi diaspora kids pt 2
- for traveling and being present
- for feeling like a smashed vase, or for smashing vases
- for the jungle
- for your james blake fix
- for managing the aux cord
- for feeling like the color orange, or perhaps the fruit. either one
- for late night car rides surrounded by the open sky
- for seeing the end of the world but smiling ridiculously
- for your ridiculous bestie
- for dying of love
- for gradually falling into sleep
- for your joji fix
- for watching bright orange sunsets while hating yourself
- for feeling the first warmth of summer hit you
- for feeling like the weird kid in class again
- for learning to live without the heartache it gives you
- for playing breath of the wild
- for realizing that romantic love will not be the thing that heals you
- for whispering secrets to your best friend
- for the kids who grew up on the internet
- for love, or the lack thereof
- for when you want to move to a new city but something is keeping you where you are
- for your morning walk
- for sitting in a field of marigolds
- for beat drops that make you go feral
- for traveling to see your best friends
- for not allowing yourself to feel ridiculous anymore
- for feeling like a perpetually open wound
- for risk-taking
- for your coke studio pakistan fix
- for waiting for better days
- for haunting
- for being afraid that this is all there is
- for texting them to get home safe
- for falling in love in the summertime
- for your hallmark movie main character moment
- for your slowcore fix
- for studying
- for eating heartshaped jam cookies
- for an espresso shot of joy
- for feeling like an empty well that has nothing left to give
- for love-filled days
- for your ariana grande fix
- for web-weaving
- for your commute
- for losing grip of your dreams
- for setting this whole year on fire
- for feeling like a pakistani uncle drinking chai on the porch
- for isolation
- for kicking anxiety in the face
well, you know what? i’m gonna be gentle to myself. whether or not i accomplish things. whether i’m at my one hundred or at my ten percent. whether i’m angry, happy, stressed, anxious or insecure. even when i don’t have all the answers or all the hope. even when the world demands more and more of what i can no longer give. even when i disappoint people. even, even, even.
forgive yourself. forgive yourself for all the versions you couldn’t become. forgive yourself for the wrong things you said. forgive yourself for not knowing any better at certain point of your life. for fucking things up so much that the grief still haunts you. forgive yourself for the darker and shadowed parts of you. you have to learn to integrate all parts of you, even the ones you desperately want to disown. it’ll be alright.
